Bullies are everywhere. Being bullied while being perceived as being victimized does have serious and lasting consequences on the psyche. But the victim is not the only one who undergoes trauma. Addressing the issue from the root cause starts from the bully as he/she is has some grave psychological imbalance to go to the extent of finding solace in others’ misery with dominance.
There are three types of bullying:
- Verbal: Though it doesn’t cause bodily harm, it is still a detrimental form which involves psyching out the victim by teasing, name-calling, threatening harm or even sexual comments.
- Physical: Pushing, hitting, pinching, taking one’s possessions with or without their knowledge all fall under physical bullying which needs no further explanation about its ill effects.
- Social bullying: Though a more subtle form, its effects are as bad or sometimes even worse. Public shaming, spreading rumors, alienating from social gatherings and such activities fall under social bullying.
- Cyber-bullying: Usage of emails or social media to shame or degrade another.
Bullying is not totally undesirable and to some extent is unavoidable too. All of us, even as adults undergo some form of bullying at home or workplace and exposure to such acts helps us to deal with it, builds confidence and faith in ourselves. But beyond certain limits, it becomes a social problem and has to be sternly dealt with.
Bullies are not born; they are made if as toddlers their aggressive behavior wasn’t handled appropriately. They tend to have strained relationships with everyone around which doesn’t seem to bother them. Rather they take joy in causing and seeing fear of their victims and have a very positive image of themselves which needs to be removed by solving their deep seated anxiety issues and make them see the reality.
As long as there are victims there will be bullies; both being undesirable. When they are not dealt timely, the patterns would definitely continue well into their whole lives. The victim sees himself/herself responsible and worthy of being bullied and learn to accept their imaginary weakness over time. It is the responsibility of both schools and parents in the interest of the future generation to identify the problem and explain to the victim that the problem is with the bully and not with the victim. It is the bully’s lack of positivity and anxiety that creates an undesirable scream for attention by harming others. We need to teach children to stand up for themselves and at the same time making sure that they come to no harm.
Allowing children free play with as less parental intervention or monitoring as possible is mandatory to allow children to develop social skills and self-confidence to deal with situations occurring out of everyday interpersonal conflicts.
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